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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25781230">Acceptance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinydancer220/pseuds/Tinydancer220'>Tinydancer220</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rocketman (2019), Rocketman (2019) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A touch of comedy to lighten up things here and there, Acceptance, Also Fred is a standup guy, Bernie is awesome, Bernie is too pure for this world, Comedy, Confusion, Crazy 60s partying, Embracing yourself, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Growing up is tough, I’m not sure if John Reid Will be in this but if he is you can bet he’s gonna be an asshole, M/M, Nan is a killer queen, Nan is freakin awesome, Nan is so supportive, Poor young Reggie is so confused, Ray will be joining the party everyone, Reggie doesn’t know what to do, Reggie’s struggles growing up, Romance, Slow Burn, Soul-Searching, Teenage experiences, Teenage humor, Teenage years are tough, Underage Drinking, We gotta have Ray in here he is too cute to leave out, Well this is going to be a hell of a ride, Who doesn’t love Nan?, Yah go Fred, almost coming of age esque type stuff, buckle up bitches, drunk teenagers, go Nan!, hell yeah, some sarcasm, sorry for all the tags, teen struggles, theres a first time for everything y’know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:48:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,951</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25781230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinydancer220/pseuds/Tinydancer220</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You gotta kill the person you were born to be in order to become the person you wanna be.”</p><p> Great words, they are.  But there are some parts of yourself that you just cannot kill. You have to accept them. </p><p> Young Reggie Dwight was yet to learn. </p><p>DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything at all. This it’s in no way based off of real people’s lives. This fanfic may not correctly represent anything having to do with any of the characters or scenarios mentioned. THIS IS FICTIONAL!!!!!<br/>Without further ado, please enjoy!!</p><p>ALSO,  I know this says 1/1 for chapters but there are more coming! Stay tuned!!!</p><p>Update:  OK so updates might take a bit longer than expected, something has come up and I’m taking a while to add a second chapter but I am not abandoning this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elton John &amp; Bernie Taupin, Elton John and Ivy/Nan, Elton John/Bernie Taupin, Elton John/OC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All children love to image what their life will be like as an adult; what they dream to become, what kind of job they’ll have, where they want to live, <em>who they would spend their life with,</em> etc.</p><p>Reggie was no different in that respect. He thought of those things. He knew he wanted to be a musician, he no longer wanted to be a shy boy from Pinner, <em>he knew he wanted to get the hell out of Pinner.</em> And he saw something else, too. something he didn’t know was considered “unacceptable” when he was small and innocent. He always saw himself coupled with another man.</p><p>It never even struck  him as odd. It was the natural, obvious answer for him. Thought nothing of it. He always knew that’s what he wanted...it’s how he was.</p><p>It wasn’t until he was older that he realized what it actually implied...that he was “different” than the “norm.” And that what the norm was for him wasn’t even <em>acceptable</em> anywhere else. <em>To</em> anyone else. At least that he had known of.</p><p>As he got older, he heard of these people occasionally. He heard how they were treated. What society thought of them...and what it would mean for him if he was one of them.....</p><p>
  <em>And it horrified him.</em>
</p><p>He thought about that for a long time. He knew how he always felt but he didn’t quite know how it <em>worked</em>. He thought that maybe if he <em>tried</em> not to be one of them...if he <em>tried</em> to be “normal...” Maybe he could save himself.</p><p>Someone once gave him some very wise words. Words that changed his life forever. “You gotta kill the person you were born to be to become the person you want to be.” But one day he would realize that they don’t work in every area of life.</p><p> Some things just can’t be killed; only accepted. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is my first fic so I hope it’s good so far! </p><p>I shouldn’t take too long to update since according to my quarantine schedule I’m actually not booked for anything lol. </p><p>Also I know that this chapter was very short, it was really meant as an introduction more than a chapter chapter. They will get longer. </p><p>If you have any helpful suggestions please feel free to comment! I will do my best to respond. </p><p>Thank you for reading! Let me know how you like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. First time for everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just a warning,  there is quite a bit of teenage drinking in this chapter. This is in no way whatsoever meant to promote alcohol, even though characters may be described as feeling stress relief from it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, so I’m rereading this now and I’m  realizing that I have quite a few typos and misspellings, I apologize. I didn’t revise it carefully enough. I will try to do better with that in the future.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For a long time Reggie’s plan was to just “train” himself out of his feelings for boys. He was sure it would work so that he could go on to be a “regular” guy one day.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He knew why he had to do all this. Change himself. Quite simply, society <em>hated</em> people</span> <span class="s1"> who were attracted to the same sex. He imagined never being able to have a normal future because of his feelings. </span> <em> <span class="s2">He couldn’t do it. </span> </em></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">So if he couldn’t <em>shake</em> his</span> <span class="s1"> feelings for guys, he figured that if tried hard enough he could uncover feelings for girls, and stick to them. He could wash his hands if his ‘boy problems,’ and go on living life as a heterosexual forever. No one would ever know of his past desires. Heck, </span> <span class="s1">ideally even <em>he</em> would forget about them too.</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">If everything went according to this plan of</span> <span class="s1"> his, the end result would be </span> <span class="s2"><em>fitting in</em>; </span> <span class="s1">Acting like a generic teenage boy, going berserk over girls, marrying a woman one day down the line, have some children, probably work some mundane job and sing at dive bars to make ends meet. At the very least, he wanted to make sure he could have music in his future. That much he didn’t want to change.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe he could be just as happy with a woman, and forget about men all together. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was also something else he was hoping to gain. By doing this he thought he would be able to feel like he finally had a place in the crowd. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Most places Reggie went he felt like he didn’t belong. He was the price of the puzzle that never fit. He put in the effort to assimilate with the majority, but often felt rejected. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He spoke to his grandmother about it before. Feeling out of place everywhere he went, because it frustrated him. She always told him he was unique, but that it was good. She would say, “You are a special boy, Reggie. Normal is boring. You’re just interesting!” Her words were meant to be encouraging. But yet, he couldn’t rid himself of that voice in the back of his head. </span> <span class="s2">Just try to be like everyone else...</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">***</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie was 16 when he kissed a girl for the first time. Unfortunately, he couldn’t forget that.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was this big house party that everyone at school was talking about. Reggie had never gone to a house party before—he had never known anyone who hosted them, and he knew that there were always lots of alcohol and drugs and other things he had never felt comfortable with or tried before. Being a shy/awkward-misfit-anxious teenage boy, these were things way outside his comfort zone. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">But everyone was going to this, and a few of his friends of his from his music academy were going. Of course, they talked him into going with them. And it was a night that Reggie tried </span> <span class="s2"><em>many</em> </span> <span class="s1">new things.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">It was a rather large house, just outside Pinner. When he and his friends walked in, the first thing he thought was, </span> <em> <span class="s2">oh my God. </span></em><span class="s1">Everyone was either drinking something that </span> <em> <span class="s2">definitely</span> </em> <span class="s1">wasn’t soda, smoking, smoking weed, dancing on top of various pieces of furniture, missing clothing articles, or doing something else very, </span> <span class="s2">very</span> <span class="s1">questionable that they would surely regret once they sobered up. Okay, he had tried smoking </span> <span class="s2">once</span> <span class="s1">when a band mate offered, but after one puff he thought he was going to suffocate.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">There </span> <em> <span class="s2">was</span> </em> <span class="s1">music though, which was probably the only thing he noticed that was within his comfort zone. And an Elvis song just so happened to be on in the moment, making him feel ever so slightly less lost.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was all sort of intimidating to Reggie. He felt like he never fit in anywhere to begin with, and this of all crowds didn’t exactly seem like the first one that would welcome him with open arms.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">Everyone here is doing all sorts of risqué things. People are gonna look at me like I’m some goody-two-shoes-asshat with no experience. I don’t have a shot at being accepted  here. </span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">His friends were high-fiving people left and right like they go to these all the time. They blended in with no problem. His anxiety rose a few more notches. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">Shit. I knew I shouldn’t have come. I don’t know anybody! I must look like a 10-year-old who got dragged to an adult party. What if my friends ditch me to go get high or something?</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Reggie’s head was on fire. He developed some social anxiety issues over the years. He always felt like people were judging him, which probably came from his never ending feeling of never fitting in. He was able to calm his thoughts well enough to survive in most places like school and in public generally. But in places like this where he felt that he </span> <span class="s2">had</span> <span class="s1">to do strange or risqué things just because everyone else was doing them, his thoughts tended to race like wild. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They made their way through the crowd and ended up at a table full of tons of different kinds of alcohol, and a cooler of beer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His friends started getting themselves drinks, some stronger than others. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">I’ve never tried alcohol before. First time for everything I guess.</span> </em>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie was a bit nervous to try, since this was the crazy atmosphere he would be trying a beer in for the first time. A whole tsunami of worries and predictions came crashing his way. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>I know how this is gonna go. I’m gonna try one beer, which will turn into about five, then I’m going to make an ass out of myself, and then I’ll end up falling down a flight of stairs or something.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie reached into the cooler, retrieving a beer, and stared at it for a minute, unsure of whether to go for it. Then a switch suddenly flipped. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Know what? Screw it. everyone here is making an ass out of themselves anyway. I gotta to start doing things that freak me out.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He scanned the table looking for a bottle opener, and picked it up. He popped open the cap and took a sip. He took note that it was a very distinct taste, he couldn’t compare it to anything he’d ever tried before. But...he the taste actually appealed to him, so he kept at it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No one warned him to drink it slowly. After he finished the bottle in a couple of minutes, he immediately felt the buzz. It was a relatively strong buzz considering it was his first time drinking. With the combination of BSing with his friends and the affects of the beer, the worries gradually floated away and he was able to let go a little. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">Actually, this really isn’t too bad. I don’t feel tempted to dance on top of tables or talk to walls like I feared, and there are no staircases to fall down in sight. Haven’t lost my mind yet. I’m starting to realize that everybody here is too slammed to judge each other. I think I’m doing good! And I don’t feel like a bag of nerves anymore! I’m going for another!</span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">After half an hour and a few beers later, </span> <span class="s1">he let go alright. </span> <span class="s2">Concerns didn’t exist anymore and he he  had this unusual ditzy-dizzy-giddy feeling. He was bombed. </span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p><p>
  <em>Aaaahhhhh!! This is amazing! The world is fucking beautiful! I feel like I’m flying!!!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Okay, so he was definitely quite drunk now. First time for everything.</p><p> </p><p>More than once, a handsome lad would catch his eye and he had trouble prying his gaze from them. But, each time he would try to avert his attention to an attractive girl instead before he acted on anything with the support of his friend Mr. Beer. Sure, girls were beautiful creatures, he could admit that...<em>but that’s just not what his heart was after.</em></p><p> </p><p>His friends started talking to girls at some point, and it reminded him of what he promised himself he would try. Although he was down for pretty much <em>anything</em> in his very special state, the thought of attempting to talk to a girl sounded like a chore that had to be done. Still, he did his best to shrug it off and told himself that he was ready to take this thing by the horns. His first drunken peptalk was right around the corner.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Alright it’s time to man up! I‘m gonna crush this! I’m gonna talk to a girl! I can do this! Ahh! I feel so alive! Just think hot chicks! Whew! Let’s go!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He spotted a girl who appeared to be alone, sitting on the armrest of a sofa with a cup of something in her hand.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Time to shoot my shot. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>With zero hesitance, his feet carried him right over to her before he could reconsider.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks to the skyrocketing level of confidence, he barely had any issues sparking up conversation with the beautiful stranger. Words just came flying out of his mouth and he didn’t plan anything.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey! Hi. I’m Reggie!” He said in an outgoing tone. He had to speak on the louder side to be heard over the noise.</p><p> </p><p>She looked at him with a big grin, and shouted, “Hey! I’m Melanie!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What do I say now? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Uhh...Do you like Rock ‘n’ roll?” It was the first thing that popped into his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Yah!”</p><p> </p><p>They started out talking about music as an ice breaker, which they shared a common interest for. Conversation topics broadened as time went by.</p><p> </p><p>They stuck together for the rest of the night, talking and laughing about randomness. He had to be honest, he was having A good time with her. She was fun and easy to talk to.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I don’t know how this is supposed to feel, but I think I like her! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The truth was, he <em>did</em> like her. But he felt more like he was talking to a friend rather than a girl he was trying to pick up. She on the other hand, was flirting up a storm.</p><p> </p><p>At some point, they made their way outside and started walking down the block. Where they were going, neither of them had any clue. They were just walking.</p><p> </p><p>They were both pretty shit faced. As a result, conversation <em>really</em> started to get interesting.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie was ranting on about trees when she decided to grab his face and start making out with him out of the blue.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh, wow. okay. I guess we’re kissing now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He was caught way off guard. He thought he would feel different, kissing a girl. He felt...indifferent? He didn’t know how to put it. It was actually a little disappointing. But still, he kissed her back because he thought he would start to like it after a minute.</p><p> </p><p>Though he could barely keep track of time, a minute must’ve passed and she hadn’t pulled her face off of his yet. He started to feel kind of uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Teeth. Too much teeth. All I feel is teeth. Is it supposed to feel like this? This is pretty horrendous. What’s her name again? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>After what felt like an eternity, she finally pulled away from him and looked at him.</p><p> </p><p>Thank God she stopped.</p><p> </p><p>“You haven’t done that before, have ya?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Well that’s an honest impression.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Uh...no not really.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> That was so bad...Oh my Lord,  that was  traumatizing. I shouldn’t know the inside of a strangers mouth that well. I’m pretty sure that was illegal. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>There was zero technique, way too much teeth and too much...<em>everything</em>. Reggie felt like a zombie was trying to eat his face and he did not want to do it again.</p><p> </p><p>No lightning shot through him. No excitement. Nothing.</p><p> </p><p>“Well you look like you’ve been defiled. Mentally and physically. You’re really red too. Like a...like a tomato with glasses!”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What? Alright then. She’s gotta be drunker than I am. I must say, after that hurricane of a kiss I feel a lot less like flying.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He could barely remember what happened after. Maybe he just ran really far away far away from her? Maybe he ran straight home, or back to the party? He didn’t know. He got home somehow though.</p><p> </p><p>He told his mother and grandmother that he was staying at a friend’s house overnight, but they would probably figure out that that wasn’t really the case. Well, at least his grandmother would since she actually payed attention to him.</p><p> </p><p>He woke up the next day with a pounding headache, and the repetitive question in his head. <em>What the bloody fuck happened last night?</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Kiss or Touch Can Feel like Kryptonite</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"><span class="s1">As the years went by, Reggie tried hard to make it work with girls. Well, he tried really hard to </span> <em> <span class="s2">make himself like girls. </span> </em> <span class="s1">He put in so much mental effort, and ended up becoming quite frustrated when he got </span> <span class="s2"> <em>nowhere</em> </span> <span class="s1">.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He had a few flings, but never found what he was looking for. He went out with nice girls. it wasn’t that he didn’t like them in general—he just didn’t feel for them in the way he thought he should. He always felt more like he was hanging out with a friend of his rather than a </span> <span class="s2"> <em>girlfriend</em> </span> <span class="s1">. He could spend time with them—but when it came to </span> <span class="s2"><em>relationship</em> </span> <span class="s1">things specifically, it always felt <em>forced</em>. Or just </span> <span class="s2"> <em>weird</em> </span> <span class="s1">.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">All of his experiences with girls lacked that </span> <span class="s2"> <em>spark</em> </span> <span class="s1">. That burst of excitement and anxiousness, that electricity you feel when you touch, that </span> <span class="s2"> <em>feeling</em> </span> <span class="s1">.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He never had that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He was becoming kind of desperate, because this was </span> <span class="s2"><em>not part of the plan.</em> </span> <span class="s1">He had been trying for a while, and…<em>Nothing. Was. Working.</em></span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">There were times when he found himself wondering, </span> <em> <span class="s2">Wtf. Ya’know, I’m a teenage boy...Aren’t my hormones supposed to be off the wall right now? I feel like every other guy my age automatically goes weak and starts acting like an imbecile just by being in the same room as a girl.</span> <span class="s2">Jeez, can’t I do one normal thing?</span> </em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">***</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Reggie was 18, he had an experience that completely slapped him in the face.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">It was his first experience with a </span> <span class="s2"> <em>guy</em> </span> <span class="s1">. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For most of his teenage years, Reggie was part of a Rock ‘n’ roll band called Bluesology. They usually played at local pubs on the weekends, and they weren’t half bad. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The band-members weren’t exactly good friends of Reggie’s, but he enjoyed being part of it for the music. It was his only real outlet to play rock, anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Rock was one thing his soul craved that he could actually give into. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s2">On a Saturday night in 1967, the band was offered an opportunity to play back up for an American Soul band</span> <span class="s2">while they were touring in England.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1"><em>Reggie was elated</em>, </span> <span class="s2">to say he least. He had the opportunity to meet members of </span> <span class="s1"><em>real deal band</em>, and get to <em>play music </em></span> <em> <span class="s2">with </span> <span class="s1">them</span> <span class="s2">.</span> </em> <span class="s2">He was hanging on the edge of his seat to get started.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">His band accepted the offer, and few days later the magic began. He immediately loved every bit of it.</span> <span class="s1">He adored their songs</span> <span class="s2">, </span> <span class="s1">and </span> <span class="s1">there was something about just </span> <span class="s2"><em>watching</em> </span> <span class="s1">them perform in person that was so </span> <span class="s2">incredible </span> <span class="s1">and inspiring. He couldn’t even define it</span> <span class="s2">. <em>And the fact that he actually got to be up there with them just made it 1,000 times cooler.</em></span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course he got to meet each of the band members, who were all generally likable. But there was one particularly strapping male singer who left an impression on him as soon as the shook hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He left him with </span> <span class="s2">that <em>feeling</em>...</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>Dammit</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He wanted to push it aside, ignore it. He </span> <span class="s2">tried</span> <span class="s1">, but the fact that this guy was shooting plenty of grins and lingering looks Reggie’s way didn’t help his efforts. They exchanged no words, but they were constantly checking each other out.</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"><em> <span class="s1">Reggie couldn’t </span> <span class="s2">help </span> </em> <span class="s1"><em>it</em>. He </span> <span class="s2"><em>had</em> </span> <span class="s1">to participate in those captivating gazes and looks. But he frequently found himself reluctantly prying his eyes away as if that was </span> <span class="s2">off limits</span> <span class="s1">. It was like there was this subconscious voice telling him, <em>“</em></span> <span class="s2"> <em>You know you can’t have it.”</em> </span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knew he shouldn’t, but...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">That bloody feeling was there. Strong. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">****</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They went on like this for most of the tour,</span>
  <span class="s1">until one night, when something unforgettable happened. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie and his three or four backup mates were lined up against a wall backstage next to a short flight of stairs that they were waiting to take a trip up. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once the hall traffic cleared around the steps, his band mates started walking up. Reggie trailed a little ways behind them, in no particular rush to keep up with them. He was a slight daze, not aware of much, so he was rather surprised when he came face-to-face with that </span>
  <span class="s2">particular man,</span>
  <span class="s1">who seemed to have emerged from nowhere. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before Reggie could process what was happening, the lad grabbed him by the shoulders and walked him backwards, pinning him against the wall with ergancy. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Quicker than the speed of light, he caught Reggie’s lips with his own. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">To Reggie’s surprise, his lips gravitated to the man’s in one smooth, magnetic motion. </span>
  <span class="s2">It felt so natural. So oddly natural. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He could feel the electricity rushing through his entire body the moment they connected. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was like in the movies; </span>
  <span class="s2">he saw fireworks. </span>
  <span class="s1">It was everything and nothing he’d ever imagined. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">But everything he wanted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Although the kiss was brief, it played out in slow motion. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once it was over, the man pulled away and let go of him, turning to walk up the stairs. Then he stopped midway up and leaned down next to Reggie’s ear and said,</span>
  <span class="s2">“Have a good show.”</span>
  <span class="s1">before disappearing up the steps. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie stood still in a state of shock. He couldn’t believe what had just happened to him. He never thought he would experience that. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">He liked it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had to take a minute to collect himself, his head was spinning to fast for him to think properly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Once he regained the mental capacity to think somewhat clearly, all of his thoughts and feelings came rushed through his head at 100 miles per hour. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Oh my Gosh. I can’t believe that just happened. A man just...kissed me. And...I liked it. Holy shit. What does that mean?!</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It slapped him in the face. Because he </span>
  <span class="s2">felt</span>
  <span class="s1">what he was looking for.</span>
  <span class="s2">The feeling he could never detect with girls. </span>
  <span class="s1">And the scary part was, it was just </span>
  <span class="s2">some guy.</span>
  <span class="s1">That’s all it took for him to feel that...that...dare he say </span>
  <span class="s2">attraction</span>
  <span class="s1">? It took </span>
  <span class="s2">one</span>
  <span class="s1">, handsome son of a bitch, who he barely even knew for him to feel all those feelings he never </span>
  <span class="s2">once </span>
  <span class="s1">felt with any girl. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Common sense would tell him exactly what this meant. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But he didn’t want to hear it. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A little update</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Heeeyyyyy guys. First I just want to say thank you to anyone who has been reading my fic, really hope  you’ve been enjoying it so far. </p><p> So since this is my first time ever posting on A03,  I really had no idea how to make any thing work,  so although I’ve uploaded three chapters for the longest time the publish date was August 8th,  The first day I ever posted.  Thanks to some advice from a commenter, I now know how to do that, Lol. </p><p> So if anyone has noticed when I’ve been updating since my publishing date was all off, I haven’t uploaded in a while. I’ve got a lot of stuff going on right now in my life, like a lot a lot of stuff.  Initially I thought I’d be updating maybe once a week or something like that, but unfortunately I think it’s going to be taking longer than that in the future. </p><p> I aim to update  again as soon as I can, I have a chapter that I’m revising. And it’s a pretty eventful one, too. </p><p> So  I just wanted to  give a little update so that y’all know  that this fic is in fact still  sailing and I didn’t get abducted by aliens or anything lol. </p><p>OH by the way for some reason the same notes appear at the end of every single chapter, still have the notes for my first chapter. If anybody knows how to fix that and wants to let me know in the comments, that would be much appreciated.</p><p>Cheerio! Adios! Slán! Sláinte! Peace out!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Wake up call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A CHANGE is being made to the way that I write these chapters. So, if you’ve been reading you notice that I’ve been Elton’s thoughts in all italics.  Well, the thing is I write these chapters on a separate document and then I paste it onto here, but none of the italics ever stay with the chapter so I have to go back and forth  between my original document and A03 to see specifically where everything is italicized, And it tends to glitch a lot while I’m doing it for some reason.  Basically, it’s a big hassle and it takes a lot of time to upload one chapter because of this.  So from now on, I’m not going to be italicizing his thought process. But I think it’s pretty easy to see  which things are his thoughts. </p><p>It’s basically everything written in first (and occasionally second he’s referring to himself) person. </p><p> I made this decision halfway through uploading this chapter, so some of the things are still italicized Here.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Reggie’s first homosexual encounter left him feeling...deeply bothered. It <em>wasn’t</em> bad.. it was <em>fantastic</em>, in fact—and that was precisely the problem.</p><p>He often thought about it. How right it felt. <em>How he wouldn’t mind doing it again. </em></p><p>He was torn; embrace his feelings and live a difficult life.</p><p>Or, continue trying to dig up feelings for the opposite sex and live a “normal” life.</p><p> And the boy decided to go with the latter.</p><p>Well, there was a catch.</p><p> The thing was, as much as he didn’t want it to be the case, he just couldn’t ignore how it felt that night. It made something inside him shift.</p><p>He came to a decision. Basically, he was giving himself an ultimatum.</p><p>
  <em>Alright. Time to get this figured out. I’m gonna give it one more go with a girl; If I feel something, then I can in fact be attracted to women after all. And if not, if I just feel nothing...than I guess...there’s...nothing I can...do...about that......... IF it even gets to that point.</em>
</p><p>To put it short—he was terrified. He still had “<em>hope</em>” that it would all click. But deep down, he doubted that, very much. Because he already knew what the answer was. He just couldn’t admit it.</p><p>***</p><p>It had been four months since he established the grand ultimatum. It was driving him crazy, but he wasn’t having any luck finding the right opportunity.</p><p>Finally, opportunity struck.</p><p>There was a dance coming up soon.</p><p>Maybe this is my chance.</p><p>He knew he had to ask someone, but he was having trouble working up the courage. Luckily, somebody saved him the trouble and asked him themself. It was Lynette, a girl he now relatively well from a few of his classes.</p><p>She was easy going, charming, witty, smart, and was always nice to him. And he had to admit, she was absolutely stunning. Her eyes were a green/blue color that sparkled when she laughed, she had fair skin and freckles that danced across her nose and her cheeks, and she had long, wavy, dark brown hair.</p><p>Considering the amount of stress he had over this whole thing initially, he was starting to feel more optimistic about this now.</p><p>
  <em>Well, if my goal is being attracted to girls, then going to a dance with one of the most beautiful girls I think I’ve ever seen is not a bad place to start. </em>
</p><p>He thought of it jokingly, but there was a strong degree of seriousness to it at the same time.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>He had been thinking about it for the entire week and a half since she asked him, leading up to the dance. He cycled through all the what if‘s he could think of. He was fluctuating between anxiety and optimism. Part of them thought, <em>well, how can you not be attracted to her? It’s bound to work out. </em>But another part of him seemed to keep saying, <em>you know it doesn’t work like that, man. </em></p><p>But he was ready for it.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~</p><p>It had been about a week and a half since Lynette asked him to the dance, and tonight was the night.</p><p>And God, it came quick. Too quick.</p><p>Usually when you’re anticipating some thing the wait seems to drag on, but before he knew it, it was time.</p><p> He felt a mix of different emotions all day. He was having trouble focusing. Someone would start talking to him and he would have to snap him out of it to get him to notice. He felt like he was constantly in space. He was wondering lots of different things. What might happen, how things would go, how he would <em>feel</em> about it, what a would all mean…</p><p>It was now 6:30 and he was supposed to be at her house by 7:00. he was getting ready to go.</p><p>He put on a pair of black dress slacks, a white button down shirt, A black vest, a gray tie. Nan was kind enough to iron them earlier that day. She always thought about the little things.</p><p> </p><p>He put some grease in his hair and combed it. He tied it all together with some black rimmed glasses.</p><p> </p><p>He actually managed to get himself to stop  worrying so much about  everything from the week while he was getting ready;  in fact, it was like he wasn’t thinking about anything. Like he numbed his mind or some thing. </p><p> </p><p>He had to think just one last time before he left to pick her up though. Gather his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>He walked over to his bed and sat on the edge of it, resting his elbows on his knees and folding his hands, which is chin rested on.</p><p> </p><p>Now he was  beginning to feel  anxious again.</p><p> </p><p> His thoughts began racing, until this out of the blue positive voice came in and said, <em>Listen, it’s gonna be fine. you’re worrying over nothing! Before you know it you’ll be there with her, and you’ll see that you have nothing to worry about.</em></p><p> </p><p>He actually  maybe believed himself when he said it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wow, my internal therapist is actually  not doing it’s super shitty job today. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He was gonna do this.</p><p> </p><p>He glanced at his watch which read 6:45. With his newfound confidence, he got up  and glanced at himself  in the dresser mirror.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He trotted to down the stairs, walking across the house into the kitchen where his mother and grandmother set at the table. His mother was reading a magazine and then his Nan was crocheting something. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As soon as he entered the room his Nan looked up, face lighting up with excitement. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, Reg!” She cried as she set down the doily she was crocheting on the table and stood up, walking over to him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You look fantastic!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie gave her a small smile and asked sheepishly, “You really think I look okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She grasped his forearms and gave a reassuring squeeze. “Of course you do. You’re always handsome, but you really look like a heartbreaker tonight.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He chuckled and gave her a sincere smile and said, “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He glanced over at Sheila, whom he forgot was in the room. She scanned him up and down with traces of judgement in her eyes, and said, “Hm. Not <em>too</em> bad</span>
  <span class="s1"> cleaning up.” Then she looked back down at whatever she was reading without another word. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Over the years he learned to just try brushing off most of her </span>
  <span class="s2">fabulous</span>
  <span class="s1">commentary most of the time. But it still managed to get to him Somehow. It used to feel like a bad burn, but over time it reduced to a sting. It still sucked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He heard the door open and shut, and then the sound of Fred calling out, “Home!”Moments later, Fred walked into the kitchen in his work uniform. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He spotted Reggie and padded over to him with a wide, proud smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You look great, boy! Go get ‘em!” He said enthusiastically, clapping him on the back. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie shot him an appreciative smile.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a moment Nan looked at the clock and said, </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well it’s nearly seven, better get going. Don’t want to show up late.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right.” Reggie said, making his way over to the front door, Ivy following behind to see him off. He slipped on a pair of black dress shoes and stood to look at her. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Now go out there and have a great time. I wanna hear all about it.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I will. Thanks, Nan.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, and turned to open the door. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a little spring in his step, he walked outside. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Don’t worry about it. It’ll all work out fine. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As it turned out, he didn’t live far from our house, only four blocks away.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">once he finally spotted the correct address, he walked up to the front door. He brought up his hand to knock, but hesitated and lowered it back down slowly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I don’t know, what if...no. No, you’ve got to do this. You can do this, you will. You’ve spent the whole day mentally preparing for this. The amount of pep talks you’ve had with yourself is concerning. That shit’s gotta pay off, right?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I’m gonna do it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">You can do this.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And with that, he knocked. He only had to wait fifteen seconds before the door swung open, Lynette standing on the other side. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">AAAHHH OH MY GOD OKAY IT’S HAPPENING. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi.” Lynette said with a smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was a few seconds of silence. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Think of something to say next. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Um...You uh, you look beautiful.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you. You look very nice yourself.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A moment of semi awkward silence passed before she finally said, “Well, let’s get going, shall we?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ah, yes. Yeah let’s go.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They began walking. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thank God she was a lot more outgoing, because honestly he had no idea what to say. he didn’t know </span>
  <span class="s2">what</span>
  <span class="s1">to talk about. He felt all right on the way to get her, but as soon as he saw her he freaked out on the inside. But she easily and quickly sparked up conversation topics, auntie began to feel a little more comfortable.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The night progressed, and he came out of his shell quick enough. They ended up having a pretty good time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They danced a lot, chatted a lot, had some laughs, she flirted a lot, he </span>
  <span class="s2">tried</span>
  <span class="s1">flirting. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was a great girl. She was nice. So nice. And funny, and beautiful, and kind… there were so many good things about her.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">but...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Dammit, there’s always a but...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every time they spoke, every time they danced, every time they looked into each other’s eyes…and he </span>
  <span class="s2">searched</span>
  <span class="s1">…</span>
  <span class="s2">the feeling wasn’t there.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">The nights not through. Just give it some more time. Maybe some time is all you need…</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The dance ended around 11:00. Afterwards, they hung around with some friends before.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This time, the walk home was filled with chatter and laughter. He was much more outgoing now compared to the beginning of the night. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once they reached her house, they stopped out front. There was not a soul on the street, and no noise to be heard other than the muffled sound of </span>
  <span class="s2">Bring it on Home to Me</span>
  <span class="s1">coming from somebody’s house. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They turned to face each other. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lynette gazed up at him, her eyes sparkled like stars in the sky, the glow of the moon and some distant street lamps highlighting her features. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Oh, she’s so beautiful. Why can’t I just...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I had a great time with you tonight. Glad we went together” She said. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yah, I had a really nice time with you too.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Theykind of just looked at each other. They were speaking, yet there was only the sound of crickets to be heard. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> ”Maybe we can go out together again sometime.” She suggested in a flirtatious tone.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Oh Gosh. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Y-yah.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was then there was silence. Just. The two of them, in silence. Staring at each other. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Is this it? That’s it? I feel like...I don’t know...there’s gotta be something more...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No more words were spoken. But all</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">of a sudden, Lynette took a step or forward. She was close to him. </span>
  <span class="s2">Really close. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a moment more of gazing up at him, she brought her hand up to rest on cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Oh—ooooh. Okay. Maybe this is it. Maybe this is what it takes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gradually, their faces began to move closer and closer to one another. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Don’t freak out. Just do this. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He I properly realized that he wasn’t doing anything with his hands at all, they were still awkwardly hanging at his sides. Ge decided to rest them on either side of her waist. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">This is it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They paused once their faces were less than an inch away from each other.They glanced between each other’s eyes and mouths, silently asking each other for final permission. And then it happened. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was slow, and steady, and..</span>
  <span class="s2">. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">and...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Um...Okay just give it another minute. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They continued kissing for a while. It felt like it never ended.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, Lynnette’s hands wandered, one to Reggies upper back, the other ran through his hair. Reggie snaked his arms around her waist in response, assuming he was supposed to do something like that. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">No...fireworks…Yet...?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now they were making out on the sidewalk. It’s been minutes at this point. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">For God’s sake, why isn’t anything happening?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It didn’t make any sense to him. </span>
  <span class="s2">He was baffled.</span>
  <span class="s1">It looked like a scene from a cheesy movie. </span>
  <span class="s2">I mean come on, </span>
  <span class="s1">he thought. It was about midnight, they just went to a dance together, no one around except for the two of them, Sam freaking Cooke was singing in the background.It was like a romcom simulator for crying out loud!</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After however long it was of this, his senses started to kick in. He realized that It felt like purely skin on skin contact. Nothing more. Nothing </span>
  <span class="s2">special</span>
  <span class="s1">.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then, just like that, everything hit him at once. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">She’s a lovely girl, but you’re not attracted to her. Or any girl. You know it. You’ve always known it. You can’t change it. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">No...no. No no no. It wasn’t supposed to go this way. This can’t…This can’t be happening. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I think we need to stop. I can’t lead her on. What if she actually likes me? God, this can’t happen...</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie suddenly lost all feeling. He didn’t know how to handle this. He didn’t know what to do, or feel, or think. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As soon as he found an opportunity, he manages to pull away.Her hands drifted back to his shoulders and his own hands winded up back on either side of her waist.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">That felt wrong.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They both let out a small chuckle; her’s filled with giddy-teenage-girlness, his riddled with holy-shit-what-just-happened-i’m-freaking-out-ness. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was half in a daze. He felt a ringing sensation in his ears and his head felt hot, like it was going to explode.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Oh, my, God. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well. That was fun.” She said with a chuckle, snapping him out of his trance. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie looked at her, dumbfounded. “Uh...huh.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Yah. Lots and lots of fun. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And just for the record, you’re not a bad kisser.” She said with a smirk. Reggie’s eyes widened and his eyebrows raised a little. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Wow, she doesn’t hold anything back.</span>
  <span class="s2">I’ve been holding back 90% of my thoughts all night</span>
  <span class="s1">. </span>
  <span class="s2">How do I even respond to that?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His heart was pounding, hands sweaty, light headed. He was reacting to all of this worse than he thought he would...well, he didn’t think he’d even </span>
  <span class="s2">have</span>
  <span class="s1">to react to </span>
  <span class="s2">this</span>
  <span class="s1">. It wasn’t on his itinerary. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I’m gonna need a bloody ambulance. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie just stared at her, having no clue what to say next. He broke eye contact, and began to scratch the back of his neck, a classic ‘</span>
  <span class="s2">well this is awkward’</span>
  <span class="s1">move. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks.” He said quietly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">This is getting worse. *mental face palm*</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ooh, hold on one second.” Lynnette said as she reached into her wristlet and searched for something. She pulled out a pen. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Shit.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Give me your hand.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Oh no. Oh hell no. Sweet Mother of God, please tell me i’m just delusional. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All he wanted to see was if he was attracted to her. He really didn’t think about the event that he </span>
  <span class="s2">isn’t</span>
  <span class="s1">but she </span>
  <span class="s2">is</span>
  <span class="s1">.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Yup, this is happening.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He slowly open his sweaty hand, and gave it to her as instructed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What the girl tried to do next was exactly what Reggie feared. </span>
  <span class="s2">The number. </span>
  <span class="s1">But the pen wouldn’t write due to the sweatiness of his palm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Um,” she said with a giggle, “I think your palm is too sweaty.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Wow, my nerves actually saved my crazy ass for once. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a mental sigh of relief, began to retract his hand, but midway through the motion she stopped him in his tracks. “Ooh! I have an idea. Give me your hand again.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Of course she has a bloody idea. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a second of freezing, he slowly gave her his hand back. This time, she began to write on the </span>
  <span class="s2">side</span>
  <span class="s1">of his hand, where it was considerably dryer. This time—it worked. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Well thank you, fucking son of a bitch hand, for betraying me. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There.” She said with a smirk. She capped her pen and stuffed it back in her wristlet. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I am fucked. Big-time</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She took a few steps backwards and made a phone symbol with her hand and held it up to her ear mouthing, “call me.” She turned around, scampering up to her front door. In a matter of seconds, she disappeared behind it, leaving Reggie a numb, hot mess on the sidewalk. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His head was spinning. He felt like he was going to faint, heart beating faster than a gazelle. He still had that ringing sensation in his ears, it was more like white noise now, temporarily blocking out physical sensations and coherent thoughts. He stopped over to the nearest tree and rest of the hand on the trunk, stabilizing himself. Once he felt like he could walk straight, he went down her block, far enough from her house to not be seen. He clumsily sat down on the curb. He held his head in his hands. </span>
  <span class="s2">Breathe</span>
  <span class="s1">he told himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So many things just came to light; he was gay, no way around it.And there were no hopes of happily being with a girl. AND he had a girl who fancied him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I thought this would’ve gone so much differently. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After nearly hyperventilating, he was able to get himself to breathe steadily enough to get up and walk The rest of the way home. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Oh my God...I...Nothing worked. What the fuck am I supposed to do? AND she likes me...great, that’s just great. I can’t do this... I don’t know how…</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. As long as I’ve got you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he reached his front door, he clumsily fumbled with his keys before before successfully finding the right one, and unlocking thedoor.He stepped inside and to his relief, all the lights were out. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Good, no one is down here. I can’t do people right now. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He kicked off his shoes and dragged himself over to the kitchen. He needed a glass of water to help bring him back to reality. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he reached the kitchen doorway, he looked up and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw his grandmother. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nan!” He said in shock. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was sitting at the dining room table with a placid expression on her face and a mug set down beside her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ooh, didn’t mean to frighten you, dear.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had to process his thoughts for a moment before answering. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, I-ya, just uh, didn’t expect to see anyone...It’s almost one in the morning.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I’m not too tired yet. I also wanted to make sure you got back all right. If you‘d like some tea, there’s water in the kettle.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie looked over at the stove where the kettle sat.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Y-yah, I could, I could do with some tea right now.” He said slowly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ivy could tell something was odd.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">His hair’s a mess, his face is red, lips swollen, glasses crooked, skittish, stuttering...what on earth happened to him?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He walked over to the cabinets where the mugs were kept, and pulled one out. He got a tea bag from another shelf and plopped it into the mug before slowly pouring the scalding hot water over it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I probably shouldn’t be handling boiling water right now</span>
  <span class="s1">, he thought </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ivy was observing how unsteady his movements were. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After he got his tea, he slowly made his way over to the table. He set the tea down and dropped into the chair across from her with her with a thump. His eyes were glued to the hot liquid in his mug, his mind clearly in a far away place. He didn’t say anything, which was unlike him when he was just with Nan. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She took another look at </span>
  <span class="s1">him for a moment before asking, “Are you okay, Reg?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He made eye contact with her and nodded his head quickly before averting his eyes again. He knew that if he maintained eye contact with her for too long, he would end up spilling his guts involuntarily. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I’ll come back to that later,</span>
  <span class="s1">she decided. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, how did the night go?” Ivy asked. Reggie abruptly met her eyes again, snapping out of his trance. “Uh, g-good. It, it was...good.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie went to take a sip from the mug, only to immediately pull away the second his lips touched the burning hot liquid. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After sufficiently burning his mouth and nearly dropping the tea, he quickly put it back on the table and crossed his arms, deeming himself in capable of drinking it at the moment. His lips formed a straight line and he looked rather defeated. He felt her gaze on him, and his eyes slowly found her’s. He could see the concern written all over her face. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Shit.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Darling, you look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Are you sure everything‘s alright?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Fuck. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked visibly uncomfortable. “Hm? Y-yah I’m great.” There was almost a tad of sarcasm in The phrase, though it was completely unintended. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He started nervously tapping is fingertips against his mug. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her face didn’t change. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was biting the inside of his cheek to the point where he could taste</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> blood. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was trapped in his grandmothers gaze, andhe knew he had lost. </span>
  <span class="s2">That gaze never failed to pull the truth out of him. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a sigh, he immediately looked down, one hands propping up his head. He shut his eyes hard and tried to fight back any emotion that he could see coming. He lifted his head again, redirecting his gaze out the nearest window. One hand beside was his mug, and the other clenched in a fist, held up to his mouth. He felt helpless. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, words came out. “I don’t know what to do, Nan.” He said shakily. Before he could stop it, his body began trembling and his vision blurred. He’d lost. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ivy got up and walked around the table to sit beside him. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She placed her hand on his back comfortingly and gently rubbed circles.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I...just...don’t know...” he croaked. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Just take some breathes, Reg.” She said soothingly. It was moments like these when Reggie thought about how his Nan was really the mother he never had. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He did as she instructed, and began taking breaths until he was somewhat calm enough to speak again. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know...” he said again after gaining back his speech. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“About what?” She utterly lost now. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">I can’t not tell her. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m...I...I think I’m uh...a-a...” He couldn’t say the words. The words he told himself he’d never say. That </span>
  <span class="s3"><em>something</em> </span>
  <span class="s1">he’d never admit. He couldn’t say it in front of Nan, and he couldn’t say it in front of himself. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knew her reaction couldn’t be that bad— she was Nan. But...what would she really think?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You think your a what?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I, I’m...a...I’m a.....”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He closed his eyes and took one final breath. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In barely a whisper, he said</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m a homosexual.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Silence. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie didn’t look at her. He couldn’t. He stared down his lap. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt her gaze on him, but he couldn’t look back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is that it?” She asked quietly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“.....yes.” He whispered. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s not a bad thing. ” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“W-w-what?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s okay.“ </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You...don’t think anything’s wrong with me?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Listen, Reg. I know lots of people today aren’t wild about the idea. I’m not judging you though, because there is nothing wrong with you. You prefer men over women. And I don’t see anything so wrong with that. To hell with what the rest of them say. You were simply meant to be that way. And that’s fine.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was shocked. Shocked that anyone— even his grandmother— could put exactly what he needed to hear it into words. On this particular subject, anyway. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He knew he still had the rest of the world to deal with, but the fact that she supported him meant more than anything at that moment.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...you-y-you really, mean that?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Completely.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You have no idea how much that means to me.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She found his hand on the table and held it reassuringly. She smiled at him comfortingly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a couple of minutes, she offered, “If you wish to talk about this or anything else that may have been troubling you, I’ll listen to whatever you need to say.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hesitated for a moment in thought. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It might feel better to talk about some of the stuff, he thought. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If...if you’re sure.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Positive.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well...I’ve always had...different feelings from other guys since...well, forever. When I was younger, didn’t know anything about how that was viewed, it didn’t bother me. But when I got older and found out that most people hate people like me...it did. A lot. And...for...The longest time... I’ve been trying to just will it away. I’ve tried talking to girls, I’ve tried dating girls, anything that I thought might change me.I kept telling myself that, that if I just tried hard enough, Just gave it time, everything would just click, I guess? I’ve been waiting for the click for years.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Words were flowing much more effortlessly than before. It was the first time that he ever thought about</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everything like this. It felt relieving to let it out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And, As you know, I went out with a girl tonight. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Something...definitely clicked, just not what I wanted to click. I just...I just realized that I couldn’t...do this to myself anymore. Lie to myself, try to change something unchangeable.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a moment of silence, Ivy opened her mouth to speak. ” it sounds like you’ve kept that in for a long time. Must’ve been difficult.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reggie nodded. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ivy squeezed his hand. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you ever need to talk about anything, you can always come to me. Remember that.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you.” he said quietly. “So much.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He picked up the tea mug again, and brought it to his mouth to take a sip. This time he didn’t almost kill himself, and the tea wasn’t as scorching as it was about 10 minutes ago. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not to change the subject, but I have to ask you, what happened to your face? And your hair?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His face turned ten shades redder than it already was. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”Uh, what’s, what’s wrong? I think it’s all good.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">he quickly took another sip of his tea, hoping that she would just drop it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">”</span>
  <span class="s1">well, your </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>hair’</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1"><em>s</em> a mess, your glasses were</span>
  <span class="s1"> <em>very</em> crooked before, your mouth was </span>
  <span class="s2">swollen</span>
  <span class="s1">, and your face was extremely red. To me, you look roughed up, to be very honest.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh God. at this point tonight there is no shot in hell that I will survive if I have to explain to my grandmother that I look like somebody jumped me because I made out with a girl for </span>
  <span class="s3">
    <em>way too long </em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1">and then had A full blown anxiety attack. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was grasping for words but he had no idea where he was going with them. “Um...uh, well—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Reggie, I just want to make sure you aren’t physically hurt. Did you get into a scuffle?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“N-no.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did someone attack you?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Well, that’s debatable.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh...no...”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So <em>nothing</em> happened</span>
  <span class="s1"> to you?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Yeah let’s go with that. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“.....No.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ivy furrowed her eyebrows. “Hmmm...” she said in a “yah okay then” tone. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He started fiddling his thumbs. He turned even redder, his face burning with embarrassment. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wow, I would like to die right now. I </span>
  <span class="s4">have </span>
  <span class="s1">to say </span>
  <span class="s3">
    <em>something</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1">, she’s not buying it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He could barely get the next sentence without giggling with embarrassment. “Um, ha, Well, huh, h-her, and...I, um we, we-ya, well </span>
  <span class="s2">she, she wanted to—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ooooh. Alright.” She said. She finally caught on. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">OhMyGoDWTFAAHH!</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s all I need to know.” She said with a giggle. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can’t fucking believe this is actually happening right now. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Listen, I was 17 once too. I understand you not wanting to tell your grandmother if you were snogging with </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">somebody—”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nan!” Reggie yelped, his head falling into his hands.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ivey laughed, patting her grandson on the back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yah, I guess you could say that.” He said, lightheartedly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They sat in quietness for a minute or two until a new concern entered Reggie’s mind. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please, don’t tell mum.” He said, staring at the tea for the umpteenth time before looking back at her. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it. That’s for you to tell her whenever you feel the time is right.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt a new pang of stress hit him suddenly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t even want to imagine how that will go. Either she‘ll care not the slightest bit and forget I even told her the next day, or she’ll tell me I’m going to burn in hell or something like that. Oh jeez, could, could that happen?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ivy was quiet for a moment. She didn’t quite know what to say when it got to Sheila. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t predict how she’ll feel or what she’ll say to you, unfortunately. But I am certain you’re not automatically damned hell, I don’t care what </span>
  <span class="s4">anyone</span>
  <span class="s1">tells you. On the street, at church, or even if it came from the mouth of your own mother—don’t let it get to you. You’re a genuinely, good person and that’s what counts. Besides, you were born this way, Hon. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t think God is one for messing up. You’re alright, boy.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked into her eyes, and saw nothing but sincerity. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a moment, he spoke. “Really?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ivy gave a small nod and smiled. “Really.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They hugged tightly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He always believed that no one could ever like him for who he was. But his Nan did. And for him, that alone was huge. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He got a bit choked up. “ seriously, thank you, Nan.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course. You don’t need to be a specific way for me to keep loving you. I’m always going to love you, and nothing could ever change that.“</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you too. Very, very, much. What in the world would I do without you?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I’m not going anywhere for a long time.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. An Update</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey guys, so I’ve  got another update regarding the speed of my updates.  I only update you guys on the stuff when I don’t think I’m going to be updating too fast because of things and whatever I am reading some thing and it doesn’t get updated for a super long time I start to lose hope that they’re going to return to it, I just want to make it clear that I am by updates are going to take a while because something has come up in my life that is dominating a lot of my time right now and updates are going to be a bit slow. Sorry:(</p><p>BUT  I will be back. </p><p> Feliz Navidad </p><p> I know it’s not Christmas time, but I felt like saying it.<br/>
Oh Well </p><p>Byeeee</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first fic so I hope it’s good so far! </p><p>I shouldn’t take too long to update since according to my quarantine schedule I’m actually not booked for anything lol. </p><p>Also I know that this chapter was very short, it was really meant as an introduction more than a chapter chapter. They will get longer. </p><p>If you have any helpful suggestions please feel free to comment! I will do my best to respond. </p><p>Thank you for reading! Let me know how you like it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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